Mom
Hi friends. It’s been a couple months since I shared an update post. That isn’t uncommon when construction is in a phase where lots of work happens but nothing really shows for it. We however, had just gotten to the part where we were getting ready for drywall and I thought I’d be showing you an “almost ready to move in” post by now. Life happens though, and boy did life really throw us a curve ball.
On March 2, we found out that our mom had a very advanced, aggressive tumor in her brain. (glioblastoma) Julie and I immediately purchased flights to go to Idaho the next day. We closed up the building and told all our helpers that we’d be gone indefinitely. We wanted to spend as much time with mom and our family as we could before the tumor took her from us. We expected/hoped for a couple weeks.
Every day was filled with whatever would bring her joy: music, family, games, family… She had lots of visitors because EVERYONE loved my mom. People came from far and wide to visit with Mom and Dad, tell stories and get one last hug. We celebrated all the holidays for the year and threw in some extra “talent shows” and even a pajama party. She loved her family SO much. Her whole countenance would light up when someone else came through the door.
Mom kept saying, “today was another best day ever”!
Over the weeks, she took more naps and we had smaller, scheduled visits rather than big parties! One night we had a little dance party. Mom and dad mostly watched us try to learn how to do some Swing moves and trip over ourselves attempting to “line dance”. Mom asked us to find “The Last Dance” and we went through several versions of the wrong song before we found what she was looking for. She and Dad had their last dance that night.
This December would be their 60 anniversary.
We got five wonderful weeks with mom. She passed away peacefully on April 6.
I wanted to write more about what a wonderful woman she was; so accomplished, talented, unselfish, loving and HAPPY. I wanted to write about all the ways she and Dad helped shape the person I am today. But it’s too hard.
I’m really grateful that I had the ability to drop everything and go spend that time with my mom and family. Those are cherished memories.
Now I’m back in Tennessee and getting the B&B reno back on track. I’m doing pretty well. I have sad moments/days but I try not to let myself get stuck there. Sometimes I have to force myself to laugh out loud for ten full seconds. It’s something Mom taught us. (It is best to warn those around you before you begin. They tend to look your way- very concerned!) 🙂
Onward and upward.
Honey be thankful God granted you this special time with your mom and the wisdom to use it. Be careful and do not take on too many projects at once because it may allows you an escape from missing your love one . Know your are not alone . Take care I remember that it was not too long ago that you had the virus and before that a problem with your back . So glad to hear from you i will admit i became concerned about you when i did not find your post. So sorry about your mom . I like your projects . As a do it yourself person you are doing well .
I am very grateful. What a blessing that she had those falls so she got that MRI… And yes, it HAS been quite a year so far! 🙂 But I feel good today. The sun is shining and the birds are singing. It’s a beautiful day! (As my mom said almost every day.)
I lost my mother to the same kind of brain tumor in 1996. I sat in her hospital room at Grady Hospital and saw the fireworks from the 1996 Olympics outside the window, She found out about the tumor in July and died in September. The first symptom she notice was a difficulty finding words. The problem with brain tumors is by the time you know something is wrong they are fairly advanced.
It does get better. People are right when they say it takes at least a year. You have to go through all the milestones, all the holidays and each anniversary, Eventually the grief fades, but the memories remain. She will always be with you.
I’m so sorry for you loss Susan. Fireworks…reminds me of the first “talent show” we had an my brother, Gene had a surprise for us (mostly Mom because he didn’t know if she’d be here for the 4th of July). He had us shut of all the lights and look out at the river. He stood on the dock and did a little firework show over the water. It was magical!
Very sorry for your loss. I’m so glad you got to spend some family time together and that she was able to move on with peace and ease. Take care of yourself and laugh as much as you can. <3
Thanks so much. I’m taking time. Working when I feel motivated and allowing myself to have days that I just feel sad and don’t work. Hope those get fewer and farther in between.
Oh I am so sorry for your loss. How wonderful you got warning and you made the most of it. Such wonderful memories for when the grief lessens.
I am so sorry for the loss of your dear mother.
It’s strange, I just started following you recently and this was the first email I received for your newest blog post. When I saw that your mom had passed of a glioblastoma memories came flooding back for me. I lost my mother 22 1/2 years ago to a glioblastoma multiform (the worst of the worst). My mom lost her vision as her tumor progressed. It became difficult for her to see friends but she was energized by her family. Those moments of love and laughter and even those serious discussions brought her peace as it did for us too. I’m glad you had to opportunity to spend those last days with your mother. I was fortunate to have done the same. The legacy of love your mother and my mother left behind is shown in the love and caring that each of their family members shares with others. Although I was 35 when my mother passed I wasn’t prepared for it. The pain immediately following was raw and difficult. Two years after she passed I had my daughter, I regret not being able to share that experience with her, I mourned her all over again. I see similarities in my daughter that my mom had (that I don’t have) – looks, habits, mannerisms. It brings me so much joy. – – I hope that you and your family are comforted knowing that the love and joy you shared with her was a huge comfort for her. I pray that her legacy of love continues with you and your family and you find comfort in the joyful memories you shared. Praying for you and your family to be comforted with peace, love and wonderful memories you made with your precious mother.
Thank you so much for your comforting words and for sharing your story of loss with me. I think you can never be prepared really. I am so grateful for the magical time we got to spend as a family during that 5 weeks. I’m sure there will be many years that it will be really hard at times. Just got to get through it. Onward and upward…