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Voice of Reason

All Posts, Personal

I need a voice of reason in my life.

I sometimes end up creating more work than I need to because I want every little detail to be perfect. I spend a lot of time and sometimes money on things that might not really make that much of an impact on the “Big Picture”.

For instance, 2 houses ago, I retextured the entire house because I hated the orange peel that was on the walls. I hand troweled 3800 sq. ft. (a good part of that was 18′ in the air) of walls. Then I sanded and primed and painted the whole thing. I gave my elbow bursitis! After weeks of work, I had new texture and color. It looked good! But, was it worth the work? Was it a good “Bang for your Buck” project.  In this case, “Bang for your Bursitis”? Was it worth the time it took away from doing other projects that definitely would make a big impact? In hind site, I can answer that with a resounding,  “Nope”! My time would have been better spent on other things.

It’s not that I’m addicted to Doing Everything Myself! It’s just … I want what I want, and doing it myself is usually the only way to go about getting it.

So, here I am, trying to get past the couple “minor” things that drive me crazy and just make this house work! I’m trying hard to overlook that 6 feet of wasted wall space in my Master bathroom because the door to the closet swings in instead of out. I’m trying not to notice that pocket doors in a few choice places  would abate the annoying completely useless pockets of space all over the house.

I’m trying hard to ignore my burning desire to “think about” moving doors, putting in pocket doors, ripping out the kitchen wall, replacing all the flooring, completely redoing the Master bathroom and the kitchen! Because I’m just not sure that would be the best use of my time and resources. But I have a problem with wanting everything “just so”!

I know perfection is impossible — but I still want it! Is that so wrong?

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Comments

  1. A wise person once said, “Perfection(ism) is the enemy of production.” But I think perfectionism is the enemy of contentment as well. Sometimes things are “good enough” to enjoy.

    I make lists of things that bug me…and then I note which things are functional and changing them would make life better. Case in point – having a pull out trash cabinet was definitely worth it.

    Some of the things that bug you could be solved by a less than perfectionistic solution – instead of moving doorways in your closet hang a curtain to use the swing space.

    • I used think I was the queen of “good enough” but I might have raised my expectations for myself. Surprise! I don’t want to be my worst enemy against my own production though so I better lower them back down a notch. Making a list now. Pull out trash cab is on the list. 😉

  2. We have just recenlty bought a new house as well and I am SO RELATING to what you are going through. Thank goodness my husband is the voice of reason in our household that keeps me grounded. But I am starting to realize the more I become a slave to having everything “PERFECT” the less content I am with everything. Happiness truly isn’t having every room in my house picture perfect–it is enjoying the people and the things I have in my life NOW. Now, if I could only take my own advice!

    • Thank you for reminding me of my priorities. The reason we bought this house is so we could spend more time enjoying life and less time getting the house done so we eventually could enjoy life. Problem: 6 hours of the day I’m alone and I ENJOY working ON the house. I just have to continually remind myself to focus on the big stuff because it’s going to take 4 times longer than I expect to accomplish anything so I’ll be lucky to finish even those and enjoy them before we move again.

  3. I can relate, we just moved into a “newer” house and I thought we wouldn’t have anything to do to it but here I am two months later with a list so long it’s ridiculous. Does it “need” anything done to it? Nope. So where do I find the balance between making my house “ours” and making it function for us and spending too much time and money on things that won’t matter in the end anyways. Great post.

  4. I’m exactly like you on this. Only I don’t have the time (or a cooperative husband) to do all that I want to. I don’t have to do it all my self either, but the few times I’ve decided to spend the money on highly recommended experts I’ve been let down and felt that I could have done it better myself if I had the time and/or tools. Anyway, I’m going to stop because I’d be way more of a co-conspirator than a voice of reason!

  5. Here’s a thought… What do you want Maddie to learn from watching you… How do you want her to roll forward in life? I always hate that question.

  7. I like to write all of my wants, wishes and needs down and then prioritize. Sometimes just seeing them on paper and actually having to number them makes you think better of an idea, or realize that there are other things out there you would rather spend time and money on. You can have a list for the house, but also a list of other priorities…getting to know the new city, doing things with the kids, connecting with neighbors, etc. Do the top ones on each list for a balanced approach. Good luck!

  8. little things like that bug me too – we sound like we could be sisters! We bought a house and completely remodeled the entire thing and three years later I want to paint this and add that and take out this – and we aren’t even completely finished yet. I am nuts – I just know it and accept it my husband does too and we are all good – just do what makes you happy and don’t worry if it isn’t all done RIGHT NOW! (that is my problem!)

  9. “I sometimes end up creating more work than I need to because I want every little detail to be perfect.

    It’s not that I’m addicted to Doing Everything Myself!

    It’s just … I want what I want, and doing it myself is usually the only way to go about getting it.

    But I have a problem with wanting everything “just so”!
    I know perfection is impossible — but I still want it!

    Is that so wrong?”

    I couldn’t have said it better myself…I sooooo get this! It sounds just like ME…glad I am not alone 🙂
    You just might be my voice of reason, because now I know I am not crazy to think like this!!

  10. Go for it!!!! I envy you that you can do it all yourself. I would LOVE to build a built-in bookshelf but I have NO IDEA where to begin. The question is, How long are you going to be in this house and are you going to enjoy it in the end?? If you are planning on staying there awhile and will enjoy the end project then balls to the walls and get going!!! Love all your projects and wish I had have the vision you do.

  11. I think you are brilliant and love all of the vision that you have and just wish I could have a little of it for myself. Keep up the great work.

  14. This is the reason I will never be completely happy with any house. No matter how well I plan things, once they are done I can always find things that I would have done differently if I could do it all again. And those little things nag at me. Especially if they have to do with wasted space. I struggle getting over things, but know that I must, because it is silly to live my life unhappy with things that don’t matter. Good luck! If you figure out the secret to living with things that bug you, let me know.

    p.s. I was just at my parents’ house yesterday and looking at old photo albums. There were some so cute ones of you. They made me smile.

    • Isn’t it the truth? I know that even if I do move the door in the bathroom which would require me to also move the electrical and if I’m moving electrical then I might as well run a line and make a 3-way switch on the fan that for some reason you can only turn on at the FAR end of the bathroom…another 10 equally bothersome but not totally important things will pop up. Somewhere you have to draw the line and we’ll always have to live with a couple buggy items so might as well start now and not bother myself with the little things. I guess it’s all about attitude. We must decide that they don’t bother us anymore and we’ll be golden!

      p.s. I’m pretty sure the pics you were looking at were goofy and that’s why they made you smile. I don’t think there is a single picture from my childhood that I was “cute” in. So glad you were able to dig them up. 😀

  15. baby steps.

    baby steps.

    Make a list. Fill your heart’s content out on paper. Then prioritize it. Then one project at a time, starting with the ones with the biggest bang for your buck.

    You CAN do it all. You just can’t do it all right away. Give yourself a 5 year timeline. Then when something is bugging you, you can tell yourself “It’s on the list. I’ll get to it.” and move on.

    By the way, LOVE your blog. You are an inspiration to me.

  16. The creative mind is a beast is it not??! I am supposed to be unpacking and childproofing and I keep imagining things like barn doors and window seats. This is our first “move in ready” house because my hubby kindly requested something “finished” this go around. Um…yeah is all I can say about that! 🙂

    • The great thing with new is “they” can enjoy most of the house while “we” work on parts of it. And barn doors and window seats are great because you don’t have to tear anything out first. I’m totally doing a few barn doors too. The problem is narrowing it down to a few!

  17. at 49 and a week from my second shoulder surgery (other side was done in 2004), I have learned that perfectionism only ends up, literally, hurting me. Slow down and smell the roses, as they say!

    I can only say “been there done that”. With age, comes wisdom! LOL!

  18. I am a known enabler but….I think that it is great that you got that done. You don’t want to move everything to do it later anyway. Oh and I agree with the first comment from Dixie. If you are not down for changing doors right now hang curtains and move right along, although I wouldn’t blame you for doing all of this “ground work” first. It is just as important as anything else.

    I wish I was more of a perfectionist. I am kind of flighty and artistic operating in constant chaos. So yeah I think that you are fine.

    Just a thought maybe you could use your blogging fame to entice a couple local readers into helping. It’s worth a try.

      • ahhh I really thought that would work. If I lived closer I would snatch up the opportunity. You could be my Mr. Miyagi, and of course I would be your karate kid, minus the karate and plus power tools (unless of course you know karate, but either way I am not hand sanding everything).

  19. Oh, Sister! Slow down or just live with all the possibilities in your head for a bit. Take on something small and more urgent for the time being and pace your projects. Some of the best solutions come in time. No need to injure yourself for the sake of perfection either. Bursitis now may equal arthritis in about 20 years!

  20. A perfectionist? Who, you?? Say it isn’t so! 🙂

    But I kid because I’m the same way.

    Hmm, isn’t there some sort of a Type A conference we could meet up at instead?

    • I guess your first clue was the 20 hours of blog redesigning because one little thing led to another…

      I am what I am. Sigh! Maybe we should put that conference together. Like we need any more distractions. 🙂

  21. LOL, do you know my husband? I think there is a group for this!
    Let me just say WE built two homes because “NO ONE COULD DO IT CORRECT!”
    If I never hear the comment “DID YOU PLUMB AND LEAVEL THAT WALL????” It will be too soon, really plumb and level, maybe I should get out my handy dandy GPS! LOL
    We drew the plans, was the GC and builder while living in a fifth wheel BECAUSE our first home sold in the first weekend on the market. God love ya’s.

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